"Hi everybody! My name is Thingol, and this is my story."
Whatever, kid. Enjoy your close up. You do have pretty eyes.
"Sissy, why are our toys out in the yard?"
"Cause the simgod is too lazy to build a bigger house."
Truth.
Not that that keeps anyone from complaining.
"Look kid, I'm trying to write on the computer inside the house, and the faint sound of you banging on that xylophone is making me batty. Cut it out."
Thingol: *bangs away like nothing has been said*
Later that day Kathy and Celly have their birthdays.
"I wish my dad would pick a better outfit."
"At least you're upwind."
She rolled "neat" as her final trait.
The caveman brought Celly to her cake.
"Does this mean no more lollis?"
"You know it, crazy lady."
"I'm a loser."
No you're not, don't listen to your stupid grandmother.
"No really, I am."
Well, yeah. Sorry, that's how the dice rolled.
"YES!! I got a green blanket!!"
She'll sleep in her parent's room for now. At some point either Kathy will get her LTW or one of her grandparents will kick the bucket and I'll move her. But for now she's shacking up with mom and dad.
Santos doesn't plan on sleeping in that room anyway.
At least not until after he passes out next to the hot tub at nine in the morning.
" ♪ Oh Finny ♪, Mama wants you to meet her in the time machine!"
"Caveman strong!!"
"Oooooo, or we can do it in the tent! I LOVE the tent!!"
"Caveman like pretty colors!!"
"Baby say 'pretty colors'?"
"What on earth is Grandma going on about?"
Can you say "Grandma's horny"?
That sounds about right.
"Grandpa, how come you and Mommy are green, and Grandma, Daddy, and Thinny are really light brown, but I'm red?"
"Uhhhhhhhh."
Jade!!! GOD!!!!
"Well, you see honey, um ....................... light brown and green MAKE red!"
"Oh. Then how come my uncles and aunty aren't red? And Thinny?"
"Um...., well, sweetie, they're just not special enough."
"O...kay."
"Yavanna, you have GOT to talk to Celly about this genetic mutation thing. She's starting to ask ME questions and I have NO idea what to tell her!"
"Dad, there's not much TO say about it. It's just a permanent change of the nucleotide sequence of the genome of her DNA. No big deal!"
"The what? what? of her what?"
"ALTHOUGH, it's possible that somebody in our family tree, or Santos', isn't being completely honest. I mean, it's pretty obvious that you're MY father, and that Grandpa is my grandfather. But Sinbad Rotter and Connor Frio? Pffft, I wouldn't believe a word either of them say, I've heard too many stories. And let's face it, Mom is a GUDTYMEGRL! My Nana was one of the town hookers! Who knows who my actual Poppop is. So Celly could have got that red skin from some family member that we don't know about."
Okay kids, let me take a small minute to remind you of something,
Yavanna had been born green but the game changed her to red. I changed her back. So Celly's borked genes seem to run in the family.
"Man, I had JUST fallen asleep."
"Happy Birthday to m.."
Sorry Santos, but something WAY more important is happening in the front yard.
"Oh no! Grandpa!!"
Gnubb claims another one.
"Ah Gnubb! The game of death. One of my favorites. So nice to be back!"
"Oh Daddy! Did you really have to die in that horrible caveman outfit?"
I know, right?
"Move it, kid. I'm working here."
"Please Death, I'm almost done with this game! I'm not ready to go yet!"
"Oh please, like your dad isn't out here all the time playing this game well into daylight."
"Yeah, you're right! Allie oop!!"
So long, Finrod! You were a great sim! I'll see you around the yard.
"Oh Dad! I'm so sad you died! Not sad enough to actually leave the house to go witness your death, but still!!"
"Oh my heart! I shall be miserable for days! AND EVERYONE SHALL PAY!!!!"
Yup. Witnessing her grandfather's demise set a fire in the dark corners of Celly's heart. She shall rule THEM ALL.
Georgina handles the death of her soul mate with her usual aplomb.
"I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's passing, Georgie."
"Thanks. Ken, do you think I'm too old to get back out there, so to speak?"
"Of course not, Georgie! You're never too old. Let me fix you a nice drink."
"I'd rather have a hot, young, cougar-hunter."
"LOL! I'm afraid we don't sell those here."
"Now THAT looks good!"
"I'll start you a tab."
Don't take it personally, Finny.
"Wow! That was one heck of a fish! Can I move out now?"
Yes you can.
"Wow! Even I didn't know it's my birthday!"
I'm tired of waiting. Sue me.
He's a cutie.
"His eyes are all freaky!!"
It's a glitch. He'll be back to normal in no time.
Pretty cool how you pulled that off while flirting with Kathy in our kitchen, Bren.
Kathy wasted no time.
Are you sure you don't want a party?
"Would I have to invite Santos?"
He is your brother in law.
"Yes, I'm sure."
I saw that the Goth Mansion was unoccupied. Well this ought to make up for Kathy's sad start in life, and putting up with Santos for all of her teen years.
"Holy crap this place is huge!! Are you sure the Goths don't live here anymore?"
House was empty. Fill it up with babies, you two!! You're rich, now!
Celly: "Does this mean I get Kathy's old room?"
Uh, sorry. I already moved you in with your Grandmother. I even decorated the room in your favorite color. I'm too lazy to fix it now.
"I hate you."
Yesssssssss!!!
This is the face of an evil grandmother who is enjoying herself way too much.
"My sissy was right about you."
Ingratiating herself with all Yavanna's children.
"We ARE going to be best friends, Brianna."
"Why do I have a sense of impending danger?"
"That's what happens when you copy my style, minion."
Brianna came home with Celly after school. A decision she may come to regret.
"My novel broke the computer."
You are not my favorite sim, Santos.
"As much as I'm digging all the mysteries and drama novels you write, Santos, I'd love it if you'd write something a little trashier. Something to, I don't know, keep an old widow warm at night."
"I can at some point, Georgie. But right now I'm focused on where the money is. There's not a lot of residuals in harlequin paperbacks, movie studios seem to be interested in mysteries and dramas. Those are the books that get made into screenplays."
"You know what? FINE!! Just one more guy around this house who NEVER gives me what I want! NO Georgie, you can't go to bed while the kitchen's on fire. NO Georgie, we're not sending the little bastard brat back to where she came from. NO GEORGIE, I'm not going to write a book you'll actually read."
"You're all the same."
"You really are one, crazy bitch!"
"You know what we really need around here? A toy stove for the kids!"
"I don't know why I even come home after school. I should've gone over someone's house, or to the park or library. Screw my family, minions are what it's about."
"What the hell were you and Mom fighting about?"
"She's got an opinion on the type of books I should be writing. Nothing I can't handle."
"Just tell her to get back in the hot tub."
"She needs to get woohooing with your dad. I think she's getting too tightly wound. Where the hell has he been, anyway?"
"Dad's dead, dude. Grave's out next to the gnubb with Grandpa."
"No shit? No wonder he didn't come cheer for my birthday."
Dude, NO ONE cheered for your birthday.
"Oh god man!! Why did you have to die before Georgie? Now I'm stuck with TWO Valinor women, and Celly's gonna be a teenager any minute now!! WHERE ARE YOU, FINNY??"
In the livingroom.
"You all don't need this, right?"
It was right here that he glitched, got caught in error trap and disappeared. BUT the game still thinks he's playing with the computer.
It has not only the computer, but the chair as being used. Long story short, no one can use the desk or the computer. I can't even move anything in buy/build mode. I had to buy Santos another laptop to use at the kitchen table so he can finish his friggin' LTW. He's really close.
See?
Yay!!
"Hey Babe, how many penis metaphors can you come up with? I don't think I've got enough."
"You're not seriously writing a trashy, romance novel for my mother, are you?"
"You know she won't shut up about it until I write one."
"Ugh, you're right, she won't."
Along with the other things she won't quit doing.
"It's good to be the grandma!"
"Why aren't you dead, yet?"
Yavanna has an encounter outside the diner.
"Wow, Santos actually dated you? I guess everyone's entitled to a low-rent starter model."
"Starter model? Santos is a mean, monkey-faced bastard. You stealing him is the best thing that could have happened to me as a teen. He's all yours and you're welcome to him."
"Did you just insult my husband??"
"Yeah I did! He deserves it."
"*snerk* You're one to talk. You married my BROTHER. At least Santos is a real man. Thanks to our hot tub, I know all about Cirdan and his .......... shortcomings."
"You're absolutely vulgar!! You and Santos belong together!! You know absolutely NOTHING about Cirdan!!"
"Hmph! Now BE GONE you peasant!!"
While all this is going down at the diner, Georgina is at the pool, diving. And diving. And diving.
I'm thinking sims can't drown while diving. Had she been swimming she'd have been a goner by now. The woman cannot half ass anything. Hottubbing, gnubbing, diving, she's gotta do it until she drops.
Meanwhile, Yavanna comes up with the perfect plan AFTER leaving Lynnette at the diner. This is why she's a scientist and not an evil overlord.
"Heh heh, I'll blow their house up with a rocket!! There'll be nothing left!!"
"And then, since the whole family will have died, I'll inherit all their money!! It's foolproof!!"
You're half right.
"Zzzzzzzz Dammit Mom, if you bomb their house, the town will charge us for cleanup and there will be nothing left to inherit. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZ"
That's certainly possible.
"Zzzzzz she never thinks anything through. zzzzzzzzzZ"
Uh, Yavanna?
"What?"
What are you.......are you okay?
"I'm fine. I'm just fishing, what the hell is the matter with you?"
Nothing. As long as you're okay.
"Freak."
"Yes, I'm a Valinor. Could you hurry up with the picture? It's not something I want to get spread around town."
I am really digging those green eyes. Also, I knew she had to be One.Of.Us because of her ears.
Wow! We've made it in this town long enough for Finarfin to have other great-grandchildren! Awesome.
Oh sure, let's go for it. So what if he's on the tree somewhere. They are probably related by marriage anyway.
"Oh shit, if that is Bradley then just kill me now."
No, that's not him, that's Khalid. He's a Sekemoto.
"Well thank god!"
"Yeah. That's great, lady. Listen, do you know a Bradley Valinor-Thurman? Is he here somewhere?"
"THIS is a HOSPITAL!! SHOW SOME RESPECT!! And hospitals are yellow, my favorite color!!"
"Whoa, whoa, how is it that I attract the crazies! Jesus, where is this guy?"
Oh REALLY??? Let's click on that empty portrait and see just what uber-important, life altering, all emcompassing THING is so important.
Sitting on a bench outside the grocery store. Like a fucking super hero, I tell you what.
Oh don't for ONE minute think your ass is going somewhere. You stay right the fuck there.
"But, it's almost 5pm. I need to go stalk the movie theatre."
STAY!!!!
"Are you fucking kidding me? You're just standing here in front of the grocery store?"
"I'm sorry, who are you?"
"WHO AM I???" I'm Georgina Valinor! The woman YOU asked out on a date only to fucking blow off so you could stand here with your goddamn thumb up your ass!! THAT'S who I am!!"
"Oh crap! I had no idea you were so scary! Please don't murder me! I'm just a doddering old man with a creepy habit of making women uncomfortable!"
"Oooooohhhh, I'm just a doddering old man creeping in a Mr. Rogers sweater."
"Well FUCK YOU, Bradley. Mr. Rogers would run SCREAMING from you, and that weird fucker loved EVERYBODY.
Good luck getting any more dates in THIS town you ugly, useless droolbag."
"Call me again sometime, I DARE you."
"You're a mean old lady! I'm NEVER calling you!"
"Pffft. Waste of my time."
Although not a complete waste, apparently.
"Whoa! This thing is FULL! There could be some really good shit in here!"
Yeah no.
"Hold on! I gotta get down near the bottom."
Hey! Now that's something worth getting stood up for!
I put it out by the party tables because, hey, throwing a tv out there is what MAKES it a party!!
"I say! I do not approve! I demand that this noisy apparatus be removed at ONCE!!"
"Shaddup ya' french poodle!"
The gnomes like it.
Ah, the immortal Argyle Sinclair. This one's easy enough.
Alrighty then.
"A date? What? You're Lissette? I don't even know you, lady."
"Oh, LYNNETTE! Sorry. Wait, that name sounds familiar. Hold on ........................................ are you that fat chick that Yavanna pussy whipped outside the diner the other night?"
"WAIT! Now I remember! You're that vapid, irritatingly polite chick I used to date way back in high school! LOL!! Seriously, bitch? You're trying to ask me out again? Fuck off you uptight old bag! Go sit your fat ass on my stupid brother-in-law and quit harassing me!"
"GodDAMN! People are STUPID."
Thingol had his child birthday and, in spectacular sim blogger fashion, this is the only picture I took. He rolled "brave" for his trait.
Yavanna wishes to text a complete stranger who does not even exist in her contacts.
Thankfully someone in this household does.
"*sigh* I have to fucking do everything around here. Making me haul my ass out of the hot tub to make a goddamn phone call. Shit."
"Hi Brendan................... Yeah, hi ....................... anyway, look, you need to come over ............................ yes, right now ................................. my daughter needs you for something ................................. like I friggin' know or care, just get your ass over here."
"Yeah you will. **beep** GOD, I hate people. Everybody's gotta bug the shit outta me ."
"So, you're Brendan, huh? Good to know."
"Wow! You're Georgie's daughter? You're hot!!"
"Mmhmm. Look, I only needed to meet you so I can add you to my contacts list. Feel free to come in if you want, but I've got shit to do."
"Ha Ha!! Funny-looking green lady is eating cake!! Ha Ha!! She's stupid!! Hahahahahahaaaaaa!!!"
"Why did I need to meet this fucker, again?"
"Oh yeah, that's why. * Hey Assmonkey, your head looks like a baby's butt that shit itself and rolled in it. Now shut your hole you worthless bag of fucking carbon.* - send - "
"Can we put 'Duck Dynasty' on? I love that show."
"Whoops, hold on, I got a text. Huh? Green lady sent me a text. Heh-heh, Oh YEAH, she wants me."
"What the??? How DARE you!!!! I don't have to take this."
And that's how it's done.
"That was so awesome, Mom! That poor, dumb bastard didn't even know what hit him!!"
"You know it, baby! You just watch your mama and learn!!"
"Thirty-five and lookin' fine!!"
"That hair, tho', Mom."
No worries, we're gonna fix that shit.
I think this chapter has drug on long enough, don't you? Coming up, Yavanna finally fulfills a wish she's had locked in since she became a YA, Celly gets sick of everyone's bullshit, and will Georgina ever die and give poor Celly her own room? Is this it for kids this generation or will Yavanna wish for more? How much longer am I going to get out of this game file before it shits and goes belly up on me? All this and more next chapter.
Points
Heirs:
LTW Heir:
Spare/Spouse: +20 (Santos and Kathy)
Children:
Every $100,000:
100,000 Happiness Points (heir):
Skipped/Failed Opportunities: -1
Fulfilled Opportunities: +2
Deleted Locked In Wishes:
Accidental Deaths:
Social Worker Visits:
Previous Total: +104
New Total: +121
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