"Alright Santos, loser has to do the dishes all this week!"
"Deal. DON'T MESS UP!!"
"Oh you're gonna pay for that."
Welcome back. Last chapter Finrod finally croaked, though Georgina and her pitiful dating life are still going strong. Unable to steal the kids lollipops anymore, she settles for scaring them instead. Yavanna has finally started going back to work, while Santos achieved his LTW. Right now, we've got yet another birthday to contend with.
What's this? Totally inappropriate attractions? Must be a party.
All of these "great party" wishes are being deleted. Ever since I installed University these wishes never get fulfilled anymore, no matter how awesomely epic the party.
"Yavanna."
"Olorin."
"Nice to see the house is as shitty as ever."
"Nice to see you're as big a wussy dickwad as ever."
"Look honey, you're a grown man. You don't have to hold my hand at parties anymore."
"But MOM, I'm just so excited!"
"Where is Lynnette?"
"Oh please, like I invited her fat ass."
"Dammit, Yavanna!"
"I wish that my dumb ass family would quit being so ..."
Wait, what the fuck is up with your face?
"What?"
Your lips look, weird. Maybe the red skin makes it more noticeable? Huh.
"Are you done?"
Yes, carry on.
"Good, now leave me the hell alone and go do something about my freaky ass parents."
Now what are they doing?
"BABE! Not now!! It's our daughter's birthday party!"
"Just giving you a lil' preview. *rub rub*"
Listen to The Doctor, kids.
"Nobody gives a shit about my birthday, do they?"
Let's just say that it's good that you came to that conclusion all on your own.
I gave her the "evil" trait, seeing as she wants to be Emperor.
Distant Cousin Cindy: "Your hot tub is broken again."
This is what happens when you let the extended family come over. You better enjoy this party Feanor, you've broken our hot tub FOR THE LAST TIME!!!
"And you're welcome."
He died shortly after this.
"That's right, you crazy old bitch. Just listen to the nice guitar."
"3...2....."
"I love music! Almost as much as the hot tub."
"BOOYOUREATERRIBLEGRANDMOTHERSOGIHEHFHAIDHCAHBAO!!!!!"
"AAHHHHH!! Who the fuck???"
"Good one, dear! Your grandmother can have a sense of humor, too!"
"Sure, Grandma."
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! BUT I'M STILL THE QUEEN!!"
"Nope, not falling for it."
Aw. But you guys still love each other, right?
Alrighty then.
"What'cha thinking about, Mom?"
"That I really need a vacation from these idiots."
Yavanna has had a wish to travel locked in since her YA birthday. I was waiting to get her career going/babies to grow up. So when she rolled this opportunity,
I figured now was as good a time as any.
"Hi! Two tickets to China, please. Yeah, first class. Oh, there's only one? Sure, put that one in my name, Yavanna Valinor. My husband can fly coach."
And off they go. I'm sure the kids will be just fine with their Grandmother.
Just fine.
"Well, what do you want to do first?"
"I'm going fishing."
"Fishing?? We're in China! You can visit temples, museums, learn martial arts. Why fish? You can fish at home!"
"And what did you do almost the entire time you were in France with your dad?"
"Oh FINE! Go fishing, what do I care."
"Besides, my ass is killing me from flying in fucking COACH all damn day. I'm going to relax and fish!"
Leaving Santos at one of the waterways, Yavanna headed into town. Here's Shadowfax classing up China.
"Hmmm, I'm thinking I need to stand on this."
And stairs appeared out of nowhere!!
She went down them only to discover that she needed a "key". So I sent her to the adventure board to see what looked good.
"What am I looking for?"
Something that might give you some common relics. You need four.
"Can't I just buy them?"
You could, but we're going to try my way first.
This looks pretty generic, it'll do. Since this opportunity was voluntary, she sought it out, I won't give it points either way. Pop-up opportunities are still for points.
"Bye, Sweetie! I'm going adventuring! Without you!"
"Yeah, whatever. Later."
GodDAMN that truck is ugly. Santos,what the hell are you doing?
"I'm FISHING. You know that!"
But.....but....the WALL!
"What about it?"
You know, far be it from me to judge someone's choice of relaxation, I just want to know if his hook is even getting in the water.
I don't see the line. Wait, hold on.........................
There it is. I guess he is getting some fish.
"I know what I'm doing."
Let's give up on trying to make sense of Sim physics and get back to your wife, shall we?
"Hey! I was just here!"
Yep. Turns out whatshisface gave her the key she needs for this tomb. Down the stairs you go.
"Okay, don't tell me. I think.......I THINK that this is where I put the key?"
I didn't take a lot of pictures of her adventure, but here's a few.
"Holy shit! These statues are CREEPY!! And WHAT is that crackling sound?"
That's the electricity trap that you need to move the statues around to avoid.
"What now?"
Do you want the treasure or not?
"*grumble grumble* This had better be worth it........................................ What the actual fuck?? It's FOOD! Dried, bland, tasteless, edible BRICK! Oh hell no, I did not risk life and limb for a brick!"
Keep looking, there's bound to be better stuff.
"Now what?"
Dive in and swim through.
"Are you fucking serious?"
Yes.
"Are you sure I don't just throw coins in and make a wish? I found these coins all over the place, they gotta be for something."
I'm sure. In you go.
"Man, I'm gonna get soaked."
Don't worry, that moodlet only lasts 2 hours or so.
Nice to know that the otherwise useless diving skill isn't being wasted.
"OH GOD that SUCKED!!"
Well nobody told you to drink the water!!
"Bite me! I am SO sick of your ..... OOOOO, another treasure chest!!"
"My spidey sense is tingling again. My guess is ...... the chest on my right has what I'm looking for."
And you survived!!
"Alright, here's your damn relic. I don't know what you want an old, cracked vase for anyway. But give me my money and visa points and I'll be on my way."
"Thank you for your hard work! The vase may not look like much, but it's a very important piece. I need it to complete my collection!"
"Collection, eh? Heheheheheh. I know what I'll do, I'll buy another collection JUST LIKE HIS, and than his will lose value!! Brilliant!!"
Meanwhile, back at the hostel.
"Whoa! Is that, like, an umbrella for your HEAD? That is so cool! So all the rain comes off but you still have both hands free!"
Guess someone got tired of looking at a wall.
"So how was fishing?"
"Good, I got some really weird fish that I've never seen in Sunset Valley. How was your adventure?"
"Not bad. Nearly got zapped by electricity, got soaking wet in a water filled tunnel, and had to hack at a lot of rock with a rusty old axe, but I got some gems, cash, statues, and some other nice stuff."
"Did you find the relics you needed?"
"Not all of them, I'll do that tomorrow."
Then they settled in for the night.
Next morning they had a nice, romantic breakfast at separate tables.
"I cannot STAND the sound of him chewing. It's like someone put rocks in a blender."
"So what are your plans for today?"
"I think I'll check out the martial arts academy, it sounds kind of cool. You?"
"I'm going to visit a temple, Heaven something or other, then I'm going to look for some common relics. Then we're going home."
"What? I thought we had one more night?"
Yavanna is not down with this eastern civilization crap.
"There isn't even a bar. A BAR!! How can there not be a bar? Doesn't EVERYONE drink?"
So they went their separate ways, with Santos visiting the beautiful Phoenix Martial Arts Academy. A once in a lifetime opportunity to learn this invaluable skill. Being a good little tourist, Santos settles in for an afternoon of...
............watching tv. Don't ever change, Santos.
"Shhhhhh. I love this show! The cowplant always wins!"
Meanwhile, Yavanna fulfills her wish to visit the Temple of Heaven.
"THIS is HEAVEN??? HA!! I KNEW it would be boring."
And finds herself some common relics.
"Man, why do I have to do all the dirty work?"
"Finally!! Four fucking relics. Time to go the hell ho..............what the?.....................that annoying sound, it's so familiar. Is that? It can't be. In CHINA???
Yup. No bars, movie theaters, pools, or bowling alleys, but you can always find the damn ice cream truck trashing up the atmosphere with that ear-twitchingly irritating jingle.
Yavanna and Santos had a relatively easy trip home. Not a whole lot of errors. No real problems. Just this horseshit Yavanna wished for the second she touched down in SV.
And here we go, swirling down the equine toilet bowl of insanity.
Here's the loot she brought back. The four common relics are on the left. I'm going to keep that tiny jade star.
I put it on a little shelf with the rainbow gem Finny found in France, and the Vampire's Eye he mined with the miner, and cut into a heart shape. Now look at that jade. Isn't that almost exactly the color Yavanna is? NOT GREEN!!
Life quickly goes back to normal for Yavanna and Santos.
"Hey! Granddaughter! How's my booty lookin? Not too bad for 130, eh?"
"I don't give a crap, Grandpa. Sun's coming up, go back to your grave."
"Oh come on! Just one quick look!!"
"You're lucky you're the founder, Grandpa. Otherwise I'd ship you to the graveyard so fast."
"Geez, nobody has a sense of humor around here."
"What the hell, man?! You don't go showing off your old, ghosty ass to my wife!! Your ass needs to get back in the ground where it belongs!"
"Hmph. I don't like you at all."
"Like I give a shit."
"You better watch yourself, I might just decide to protest you, you big meanie! I might even BROOD!"
Now there's a threat.
Yavanna gets her China opportunity.
And Santos finishes Georgie's book.
Lately, I'm surprised when she actually goes to bed at night.
"You woke me up! This better be fucking good!!"
"Okay Bradley, you listen to me You are so lucky I don't know where you live, cause otherwise you and that stupid sweater would go up in flames of mysterious origin. That and I'm about to drop again. Quit calling me and good night!!"
"Now, what was I about to do?"
Go to bed?
"Nah."
You try my patience, Georgina.
Later that evening, Celly decides to fulfill her wish to stop being friends with her grandmother. If I can possibly help it, Georgie will not be getting her wish to see Celly's ghost.
"What is wrong with you, lady? I swear to god, you are the WORST grandmother ever!" (sooo not true, I've played sims that were far worse) "You never do anything nice! All you do is scare us, and sleep all day!"
"Oh bitch please! I'm the reason this family is where it is today! All my hard work to become Leader of the Free World is why YOU have this nice, cushy life! Kids today have no appreciation for hard work!"
"LOLOLOLOL!!! I'm Georgina, I was Leader of the Free World for one freakin' DAY before deciding it was too much of a bother and retiring. Shortest term EVER."
"*YAWN* You know, I hear some ringing in my ear, but all it's doing is making me tired. Tired of droning, meaningless, empty, jealousy-laden bullshit."
Or it's your phone.
"I don't know why I was ever friends with you in the first place."
"Oh I don't know, maybe because I'm the one who took care of you and taught your sorry ass to walk, talk, and shit in a toilet while your parents screwed around?"
That was Finny.
"YOU stay out of this!"
"Well we're NOT friends anymore!"
"Pffffft, fine with me!"
"Look, I'm sure the old broad is gonna kick it any day now. I don't want any bad karma."
"For crying out loud, Thingol, why is your sister such a raging assphincter?"
"I'm more interested in how you're still alive."
She's 100 and counting.
"Can you drown someone with a sprinkler? What if they are really old and decrepit?"
"I cannot believe have TWO overwhelming disappointments for grandchildren."
Next morning,
"Hey, there's Celly! I should go say hi."
"Hey Broderick! How are you doing?"
"Good! How are you?"
"Doing good! It's nice to see you outside of school!"
"Same! You're looking fine!"
"*giggle* Why thank you! You're lookin' pretty damn hot yourself. Um, do you know the crazy chick back there?"
"That's just my girlfriend, Latasha."
Pregnant Kathy: "Sorry girl, I don't think your day is going to get any better from here."
"Your girlfriend, eh?"
Not for much longer.
"That's IT Broderick!! We are so OVER!!"
Now now, sweetie. Why don't you sit down, have a soda, and call Lynnette. I'm sure she'll explain to you how it is.
"Thanks for inviting me to the Bistro, Celly! I'm starving! Plus, listening to Latasha bitch and moan in the background was getting old."
"You're welcome! I think it's pretty cool that you have a car! My parents won't buy me a car, and my mother'll kill me if I even look at her truck."
"Eh, it's an old piece of crap that belonged to my father, but it runs and that's what counts."
"Remember kids, you've got curfew in four hours! You better be home by then or I'll be taking you home.. And by "you" I mean blondie, here. I don't give a shit what you do, ginger."
"Such unfair bullshit."
Preach.
There were a couple of familiar faces at the restaurant.
Here's Lynnette with Cortez, her and Cirdan's oldest.
Oh Fuck You, Broderick!
And this charmer is
Luthien's grandson, Wilbert. Also known as Cindy's younger brother, AND he's a Rotter. He looks it.
Like it's rocket science, of course she yells at him. She'll never admit it but she's just like her grandmother.
Cha-CHING!!
I think there's three in the house we can use.
Make it a good one, Georgie.
I guess now she'll go that extra mile, doing what she does best.
"Heh-heh, he'll never see me coming."
"I know you're back there, Grandma. I saw you come out."
"BSHFHAUZHHFIZAAHAAHWAYOUREBORING!!!"
"Why aren't you screaming? Are you stuck?"
"Can you be too stupid to die? Could that be it?"
"HAhahahahahahahahAAAAA!!! You tried to scare Thingol and it didn't work! You're losing your touch, Mom! You're a LOSER!!"
"I don't even know why I try with this family anymore."
Damn, that's gotta be particularly brutal for a perfectionist.
I approve. LAYYYYYYYLAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
There. There's your damn wild horse. You got to see it. Are you happy now?
And that'll be 5 points.
Thingol had a wish to visit the graveyard, so I sent him on a Saturday morning (I think).
"Can kids explore the catacombs?"
Look at that, yes they can. Have at it.
"Kewl!!"
He's brave, he'll probably be alright.
So where are you off to, in your soft, cushy limo, this fine morning?
"I have a date."
??? I thought you hated Bradley?
"I do. Trust me, it's gonna be a memorable date."
Provided he shows.
"He sure has a thing for the hospital."
It's probably a smart move, considering how you feel about him.
"Hi Georgie! I'm so glad you came! I think you and I got off on the wrong foot, and I'd like to make that up to you. How about we go on a nice tour of the hospital? It's one of my favorite places in the Valley."
"Sure, Bradley, sounds like fun! But first, I have an errand to run. Do you mind tagging along?"
"No, not at all!"
"Great! We can use my limo."
"Ooohhh, the elixir shoppe! I've never even been in here."
"Did you see him barge right past me to get in? SO rude!"
Why are you at the elixir shoppe?
"I said so, errands."
Meanwhile, across the way,
"A BOOK?? I crawled through wet, cold slime for a book? What the hell even is this place?? Who left a friggin' book in here?"
A friggin' EXPENSIVE book. Stick that puppy up your butt, you are definitely bringing it home.
"Ahhhh, I'm going to have to buy one of these for my house. Did you find what you needed?"
"I didn't find exactly what I wanted, but I bought something that will do. Come take a look, let me know what you think."
"Sure, what is it?"
"Hold still!"
"What the heck was that? *cough cough* It's getting smokey in here. Uh-oh, I'm not feeling too w......................"
*gurgle*?
"SKUAEFVDEEISIIGAHAGGGGHHHHHHH"
Nope, none of that to be found around here.
"He's never looked better."
You really are diabolical.
"Thank you."
"See you later, Bradley. Not."
You're just gonna leave him here?
"You know it. Date's over, Sunshine. I had a LOVELY time."
Well, it's not a pink diamond, but not too shabby for his first time out.
How was it?
"Dirty, but fun! I'd do it again."
Good. Now go shower.
"Alright, Broderick. We are going to have a great date. You are NOT blowing me off this time."
*fingers crossed*
"Thanks, Babe! Have I told you that I love your skin? It's the same color as my hair!"
"That's ......... nice. Why don't we go in the club?"
"Cool! I've never been in here."
"Okay, that's not what I heard happens in these booths."
I don't have that mod turned on.
"No wonder my life is so dull."
"I hope our pictures came out nice!!"
At least one of you isn't disappointed.
"Let's see here."
"Ummmmmmmm..........................."
What's wrong?
Oh. I'm sure they'll show up later.
"I hope so! I did my best, super-cute poses!"
Three out of the four are exactly the same. Damn, y'all are boring.
Oh sure, why not.
I guess we're planting eggs and cheese.
"Hi honey!"
"Hi, Dad. Try not to stick around all day, okay?"
"I knew Broderick from school but we didn't really get to KNOW each other until we ran into one another at the arcade. So we're just talking and chillin' when his girlfriend gets a huge stick up her ass. Like he can't even TALK to another girl. "
"Well, Broderick decided then and there that he could do so much better, and he broke up with Latasha to go out with ME instead! Isn't that amazing, Grandpa?"
"I don't understand why breaking up other couples makes you and your mother so happy."
"You gotta enjoy the little things in life, Grandpa."
"Ah, his generation just doesn't get it."
Celly still hasn't gotten her wish for a great date with Broderick. I thought that maybe the after school dates weren't enough time, so let's try an all day, weekend date.
"Hey Broderick, it's me! Why don't you meet me at the pool and hang out for awhile? Awesome!"
"So it turns out that I have a genetic mutation that I may have inherited from Mom, and that's why my skin it red."
Sure, that's our story and we're sticking with it.
"You know, I've seen a pink chick around town whose whole family is either brown or green, just like yours. Maybe you guys are related?"
"Um, yeah, that's Vicky, she's my mom's cousin." Aka, Feanor's daughter.
"Cool! So if you and me end up gettin' married and havin' kids, we might have a red or pink kid!"
"I guess so. You know, why don't we just go to a movie?"
"So, you think we might get married, huh?"
"Sure, don't you?"
"I haven't really thought about it."
Awkward.
"Yeah! I love movies!"
"Heh-heh-heh, that movie was GREAT! I have so many new ideas! So much to do and so little time."
"That was such a cool movie! I love magic tricks."
They spent the next couple of hours dancing on the sidewalk in front of the theater.
"That poor child, that is one awful sunburn."
And it still wasn't enough. Forget it, Celly. It ain't happening.
Next day is Thingol's birthday.
"And nobody's naked!"
I know, it doesn't feel like a party.
"I wish to be able to connect with people outside of my own family."
It's tough being the good sim in a family of evil, mean-spirited clowns.
"HA HA HAAAAAA!! He looks RIDICULOUS!!!"
"See what I mean?"
Post makeover. He's athletic, so I gave him a sports nut look. He rolled 'friendly' for his trait.
So Georgie spent a chunk of Thinny's party in the hot tub (NO WAI!!), when she threw this wish,
You're single. Like REALLY single. Like, no half decent dates, no romantic interests, all alone in this world, single. I don't think even Bradley is going to call you anymore.
"So? I don't need a boyfriend, I need an available quickie. Blame Santos. That was one helluva hot book."
Rather than mess around inviting various sims over, Georgie went to the pool and...........well...........basically she nailed the first dude to come along.
Okay, I meant the first dude to come along WHO'S NOT RELATED. And, yes, Cortney (Alty's son) is not bio related to Georgie, but still. Icky).
"I do not approve."
No one asked you. Go away.
Sammie Noble-Alvi: "Whoa! Hi Georgina! This is kind of, sudden."
"Are you really all that surprised? Hottie?"
"Honestly? Yeah, a little. You've barely ever said "boo" to me before."
He's getting much more than a "boo" now.
"How about we take this to the hot tub?"
"*sigh* Nobody younger and hotter has shown up, have they?"
No. There's a couple of old women to choose from.
"I'm not that desperate."
Unfortunately for Georgie, neither is Sammie.
"Um, sorry Georgie but no, we hardly know each other!"
"Are you serious? Dude! We're both old! Who knows when we'll get this chance again!"
"Why don't we hang out for awhile, then see how things are in a few hours?"
"How did my life come to this? I miss Finny."
"Who's Finny?"
We're going to leave this sad, pathetic scene, let Georgie get some semblance of her mojo back, and go across town where a lot more fun is being had.
"Right here, fellas! it's gonna go RIGHT HERE!!"
"YAY!! So fun!!"
No, this isn't the fun I meant.
"You're so beautiful, Keisha!"
"And you're so handsome! I love your ears!"
Thinny met Keisha at an after school play date as a child, they've been good friends ever since.
Score!!
"Would you like to get dinner at the diner, Keisha? My treat!"
"I'd love to!"
Apparently the Sim World Auto Lot (or where ever sims get their cars) had a sale on orange SUVs.
I had all these plans of taking cute pictures of the new couple outside the diner, give Thingol some camera time for once, but Georgina had other ideas.
"You act like I did this on purpose."
You are 106 years old, you're due.
"Yes!! Death by hot tub! Right up there with death by gnubb on my list. You never disappoint, Georgina!"
"It's all good, Grim. I realized, today, what my life has been reduced to. I'm more than ready to move on and see my husband again."
"Too bad, so sad. You're a spouse, so you're coming with me to the gra....."
Not so fast, Grimmy!
As a reward for amusing me to no end in life, Georgina gets to spend the afterlife in the yard with her beloved. Let's hope he doesn't keep cheating on her.
So long Georgie!
And thanks for all the evil laughs.
Until next time.....
Points
Heirs:
LTW Heir:
Spare/Spouse:
Children:
Every $100,000:
100,000 Happiness Points (heir):
Skipped/Failed Opportunities:
Fulfilled Opportunities: +3
Deleted Locked In Wishes: -5
Accidental Deaths:
Social Worker Visits:
Previous Total: +121
New Total: +119
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