Nadia told you to put Sam in his crib, Otho.
"Yeah, yeah, in a minute."
"Ahhhhh! Babies get the best candy."
Welcome to the family, Samwise.
"Now we need to have another baby so I can get MORE candy!!"
Let's see, what happened last chapter? Little Samwise was born, Otho and Nadia's first child. Beren saved the day when Mellie's cake caught fire, Dior became a child and rolled a potentially heirship-costing lifetime wish, and Otho was kind of an asshole, flirting with another woman at the pool.
This is going to be a short chapter, chronicling a rather important, unforeseen event.
So what's Beren up to now?
WHAT.THE.FUCK.BEREN???
"Look, that police officer the other day made me realize that Lakesha is just not supportive enough of me. I think I can do better."
But he wants to give her an amorous hug first. You know, build her up then go in for the kill.
"There's my darling husband, the apple of my eye!"
"I love you, Lakesha!"
"I love you, too, Beren!"
"But we need to talk."
"WE ARE THROUGH!! We're getting a divorce!"
"WHAT?!? Are you kidding? WHY?"
"YOU have NEVER been supportive of me and my concerns!"
"What? What concerns?"
"Orc invasions! The police officer told me that it was a good thing that I was prepared, she believed me!! No one else EVER has. Not you, not Otho, not anybody!"
"Orcs? You want to get divorced over ORCS? Beren ................ you can't be serious! Orcs are fantasy, baby. Stories your great-grandfather used to tell. I thought you understood that! Otho told me that you guys discussed it."
"Nope! Otho tried to talk me out of it, but it's always been in the back of my mind. I KNOW it's true. I don't need you or Otho to 'make me understand'."
"WE are over! I'm tired of being treated like a child!"
"UGH!! FINE! You know what Beren? You frickin' ACT like a child!"
"WHAT?!!?"
"What dat noize, Dio?"
"That would be our parents, Mellie. Sounds like you and I are about to become divorce statistics. Just keep playing and ignore them."
"Otay big bo."
"Meh meh meh, I'm Beren, I'm a grown ass man who believes in fairy tales! I'm so stupid that I'll divorce my wife and wreck my children's lives over some damn fractured fairy tale the ghost of my great-grandfather used to tell!"
"Now you're unsupportive AND mean."
"You get what you give, sweetheart."
*sigh* So Beren and Lakesha are divorced. She's still living here for now. I'd like her to finish her LTW, not that I'll get points for it, she's just so close, and...........................
Who knows what's going to happen with their relationship.
"Your daddy is a big buttmunch, Mellie."
"Otay Mama."
"Hey hon! I'm sure you've already heard about B and Lakesha, so sad. I just want to make sure we're okay. I would never cheat on you, ever! I was just in a pregnancy induced/cake deprived craze before."
"Yeah, we're okay. Don't worry about the text. It's no big deal, I shouldn't have scared you like that."
"Phew! I'm so glad. I love you, Otho!"
"I love you, too! Now, what's going on with B and Lakesha? I haven't heard anything."
"Oh shit. Dude, they broke up this morning! Divorced!"
"WHAT?? WHY??"
"It was Beren's idea. He said that Lakesha wasn't supportive of him. He broke up with her!"
"Not supportive? What the hell does that even mean?"
"You know, we're not even sure. Something about those damn orcs again! I thought you had talked to him about that."
"Oh good lord, I DID!! *sigh*"
"My parents suck, so I'm gonna stay right here in this graveyard corner and play with the dog my great-grandpa Finrod made, and never go home again!!"
Great. Now I'm depressed.
"Beren! Did you really divorce Lakesha? Over orcs?"
"Yes. Yes I did."
"Dude! What the hell is wrong with you? How could you break up your family like that? Lakesha is a great mom and a really sweet person. I can't believe you did this!"
"I don't care what YOU think! You've never been supportive of me either. You all treat me like I'm crazy! I'm NOT crazy!"
"You know what, B? I've thought that you are quirky, I've thought that you can have some strange ideas, but I have NEVER thought that you are crazy. Well guess what, man? NOW I do. Only a crazy idiot would break up with a woman like Lakesha over something that has NEVER happened, NEVER shown any sign of happening, and NEVER will happen!"
"*SIGH* B, don't be mad. We're not moving out. I'm sorry, okay? I know you're not crazy. I just .............. dude I don't GET it! I don't understand why you did this, at ALL!"
"Yeah. Well. Nobody ever does. Don't worry about it."
"B........................"
"What?"
"I love you, man."
"I know. I love you, too."
"I'm sorry I don't understand you, but I'm your brother and I'm here for you, okay?"
"Yeah, okay. I'm not crazy!"
"I know, B. I know you're not."
Okay, enough of this fighty-huggy-sad-face-nonsense and back to the usual, old-fashioned, simmy goodness. Like birthdays.
"WOOOOOOOOO! It's Mommy's birthday, Sam!!"
Sam: "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
Me too, kid. Me too.
"I want a pet unicorn, Dad."
"I don't know, son. I heard unicorns are a myth."
"Is that right? Well I heard that orcs are a myth."
".........................................................................."
".........................................................................."
"You know, I think a pet unicorn would be fun! Where do we get one?"
"Well, you can't buy them at the store, or adopt one. I have to find one in the wild and convince it to come live with us."
"...............................Oh. Alrighty then! You get going on that, and I'll make sure the yard is safe for when you bring one home. Sound good?"
"Sounds great! Thanks, Dad!"
I can't believe I'm even considering this lifetime wish.
Lakesha is doing okay. She goes to work, plays with the kids, paints, and practices the guitar. She sleeps in Thinny's old bed in the trailer. I think it's working for her.
"Whatever. If my kids didn't live here I'd be out SO DAMN FAST!"
She's fine.
Awwww, little Samwise is a cutie! He's cute as hell, actually. You know what that means! SAM SPAM!!!
"Where's your big cousin, Sammy?"
"I don't know! He gone!!"
"Here I am!!"
"AHHH Hahahahahahaaa!!"
"Where's Sammy? I don't see him!"
"SQUEEEE! I no see him eeder!!!"
"There he is!! I see you, Sammy!!"
"Heeeeeeeee! Dio find tammy!!"
In other news,
Hell yeah, son!!
Now that his LTW is done, Beren can do some more travelling. He's had wishes to travel to Egypt, and with Lakesha, locked in since before they married. Plus he still has that opportunity to bring a painting to Egypt.
"Lakesha, I know you're mad at me, and I understand why, but I'd really like us to be friends. I know you've always wanted to travel. I have to deliver a painting to a buyer in Al Simhara, Egypt. Why don't you come with me? It could be fun!"
"Um, alright. Why not? I want separate seats on the plane, though. And my own hotel room."
"Sure. No problem!"
LOL! Oh Lakesha, you poor thing. You have no idea what you're in for.
Next time, Beren and Lakesha visit Al-Simhara, leaving Otho and Nadia with two toddlers and a kid.What could possibly go wrong?
Points
Heirs:
LTW Heir:+25
Spare/Spouse:
Children:
Every $100,000:
100,000 Happiness Points (heir):
Skipped/Failed Opportunities:
Fulfilled Opportunities:
Deleted Locked In Wishes:
Accidental Deaths:
Social Worker Visits:
Previous Total: +160
New Total: +185
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