Wednesday, August 24, 2016

The Annoyingly Arbitrary Rules Of Sim Courtship



Welcome back! Last chapter saw a teenage Lorien and her mother, Bree, take a trip to France so Lori could fulfill a school opportunity, and Bree could try French men on for size. Not only did she find a sim she liked in Gerard Morel but Lorien fell in love with his son, Pascal. After a whole lot of messing around in MC, Gerard and Pascal were added to the household and moved back to Twinbrook. I tried to give the two boys their own place but MC and SP refused to see Pascal as Lorien's boyfriend, so he kept trying to hook up with her second cousin, Suzanne. I moved him in to keep their relationship intact. Gerard still lives in town, awaiting a move in or get married wish from Bree.

Lorien rolled an original LTW, Alchemy Artisan, so she gets to work on the alchemy station she'd wished for as a child.


"Wow, this book is OLD! Is this even in Simlish?"


"I HATE having to run all over town!"

That's the thing with alchemy, kid, it requires lots of supplies. Be thankful for the collection helper one of your ancestors acquired a couple of centuries ago.


It didn't take long, a couple of days.


"I really miss you, Gerard. Why don't you move in here so we can see each other all the time?"


"I'd love to! I really miss you, and Pascal, of course."


And we are a household of four, once again.


"And it's going to stay that way, right Gerard? There will be no cheating, no messing around, because if you do..........."


She had so many happiness points that I let her get a degree in Business. She rolled "evil" for her new trait. Watch out, Gerard!

Pascal is pretty handy to have around the house.



He cooks, and helps Lorien garden. I brought him into CAS and changed his appearance a little. He's so pudding faced, I had to do something. So I messed with his sliders a little, made them more right or left of center.


Bree gets in one last child. And throws this wish soon after.


I deleted one of the hated "jam with" wishes to lock this one in. I probably should have deleted the "date 10 sims" wish, but oh well. I did finally delete it to lock in a spa wish.




"What? The shower always sparkles like that."

**sigh**


"Will you marry me, Gerard, so I won't be the 'chick who dated married men, got knocked up by a married fairy, and knocked up again by some French dude?"

"Oui!!! How could I say no to that proposal?"


Finally!! Following Bree's romantic wishes only took about 20 years.


The teenage sweethearts get a duel pool party, during which only their parents, and Bree's cousin Teddy, come to cheer.


"Zexy, oui?"


Pascal rolled "coward" for his trait. Great. There's at least 10 ghosts on the lot, often 3-4 on any given morning. Good thing he's going to garden, cook, and clean for me, seeing as he'd probably be late to work on most days.


I chose "gatherer" for Lorien's trait, to aid her in acquiring whatever she needs for alchemy.

Nobody gets a real job. Lorien's got too much stuff to do to get this alchemy wish, and they are loaded.


At this point, heirship finally passes to Lorien. Thanks for all the fish, Bree. It was a trip.


"You know what I've wanted since I was a kid? A cat!!"


And I finally have to lock it in. I've deleted at least 3 "adopt a cat" wishes since she became a teen. So on the same day, the house gets two new family members.


First there's Merlin, a lazy elder who is exactly as he arrived from the shelter. As he's being dropped off,


another little boy is born. Meet Tirion Valinor. Tirion upon Tuna is the is Noldorian city where Finwe ruled, and his sons Feanor, Fingolfin, and Finarfin were born.



"Boy, gardening is dirty work. I really need a shower."


"I've never used this one before, but it looks just fine."


"Ahhhhh, so much better."


"What the???"


"Lorien!!!"

LOL! No one has used this shower since she fairy rigged it as a teen. Funny how it got Gerard's hair, including chest and arm hair,but not his beard. He went back in and washed it off.


"I like this guy! He's a hoot!"

Glad you approve, Georgie.


Meet Puck, the second cat Lorien wished for. Puck is a friendly elder who is, like Merlin, exactly the way we got him from the shelter.


"Is that the sound of my days as the only baby being numbered?"

Yes, that is a jingle you hear.


"WAAAHHHH!!! I don't want a little brother or sister!! And I STINK!!"


"Relax, Tirion, this baby will be your niece or nephew, not your brother or sister."

"What?"

Yeah, it's going to confuse me for simyears to come.


Sure.


"Hi! It's Bree Valinor................... Good! Listen, I'm calling to let you know that I won't be back from my maternity leave. ........................ Nah, you guys can have everything............okay, thanks! Bye!!"

Literally right as she hangs up the phone and gets the points for the 'quit work' wish....



She got on the computer and got her job back, albeit a few levels down.


GENERATION TEN BABY!!!! The end is in sight!




"Mom actually bought a keg for her wedding! A KEG!"


"I thought for sure she'd go with the nectar we got on our trip, but NO. A keg!  This is gonna be awesome!!"


"It works!! You pump it, press the handle, and the juice comes right out!!"

Bree only looks refined. I think it's her hair.


How is it?

"Tastes like gasoline."

Throw it down like a shot, that'll help.

LOL! I don't know if it's one of her traits or what, but Lorien LOVES to dance. If I leave her on free will she'll do one of three things, woohoo with Pascal, dumpster dive, or dance. She loves dancing.


I made a nice wedding venue out of the amphitheater. I mean, what else are you going to do with it?


"Yay! I'm finally getting married! I'm so excited!! ............. Where's my fiance?"


"I do not want to get married. I want to stand here and watch Bree's sister play guitar."

Yeah no.


"Booooo! The music stopped!!"

"It'll start again in a few minutes, honey. It's time for vows, now!"

"I tried, Bree. I'll set his ass on fire if you want, but no more boyfriends. It's this douchecanoe or you're a widow."




It was a lovely ceremony. I have no idea what Arathorn did, other than show up to a formal event in his hipster bellbottoms.


My simself: "Why does everyone have to ruin the long shots with their stupid, pointless thought bubbles? I try SO HARD to make a nice wedding and everyone SHITS all over it!!"

Teddy: Is adorably vacant.


Earwen: "*sniff* It's not my fault I'm a widow! I should have declined my invite since all I'm going to do is sob, and clog up the scenery with my red, stabby thought bubble."


And Bree finally gets the wish that I locked in when her young adult, currently preggers daughter was born.


Damn girl! I'm not doing this again.


After the ceremony we had dueling pianos competing with the stereo. And Earwen still bitching about her brother.

"Did you see what he's wearing?"

At least it's not a bike helmet.


The last member of generation 7 did make it. One-hundred and seven years old and counting.

"I'm too bitter to fucking die."


Lorien was the first family member to bail, taking Tirion with her. The party continued on to the wee hours of the morning.

Meanwhile back at home..


No other reason for this photo other than cat feet and butt.


"I don't know. What do you think? Should I join this quest?"

"Are you kidding? Look at their equipment, they're all a bunch of newbies. Move on, man."

"Yeah, you're right, although the archer is cute."

The animals and the ghosts are good pals.


Angrod Valinor becomes the first baby of Generation Ten!!


 He's an excitable, non-fairy genius who is named after one of the sons of Finarfin.

Right after his birth.....




Funny how they both, more or less, operated on free will, but Bree took forever and Lorien's barely 25.

Since I did the big wedding thing with Bree, I figured the standard "kitchen elopement" was good enough for Lorien and Pascal, only OF COURSE it wasn't that easy.

Their romantic options were gone. Gone as in kaput, not there, they could take a photo and that's it.


Then I noticed the upper left corner of the screen.


 See what that says? STEP-BROTHER!!!!! So in spite of wishing to get married and, oh I don't know, ALREADY HAVING A BABY TOGETHER, the game has decided that since their parents got married first, they are now brother and sister and while second cousins can knock uglies all the live long fucking day, "competely non-bio related step-sibling" romances are OUT OF LUCK bitch!! Cause apparently THAT'S where the line is.

Oh, and NOW I see that got GeraRd's name wrong.


So I started considering my options. The only viable one seemed to be to have Bree and Gerard get divorced. It seems that, barring somehow severing Pascal and Gerard's relationship, which I don't want to do, both couples cannot be married, only one of them can. And seeing that Lorien is now heir, and Bree did get her "Get Married" wish, the solution is obvious, if a bit annoying.


Sorry, Bree, but you and Gerard have to get divorced so Lorien and Pascal can get married.

"He'll still be my boyfriend, right?"

Yes, that didn't seem to cause any issues before.

"No big. I got my nice wedding, that's all I really wanted."


I went into MC and divorced Bree and Gerard, not only because it's quicker, but this way they don't have to fight or lose relationship points over it. Lorien and Pascal still had no romantic options. I probably had to restart the game first, but fuck that. MC allowed me to change their relationship under the radar. So congrats kids, you're married in the most low-key, photo-less engagement/wedding ever.



At that point all their options came back.

Now that all that ridiculous drama is behind us, things get back to normal.


Bree, overcome by her new trait, steals candy from her own son.


"What is up with this lady who is old enough to be my grandmother?"



She gets old right after stealing said candy.


 Lorien can now cast "bloom" on the plants, which is a pretty handy power, except she can do it on autonomy. If I don't keep a close eye on her, she'll "bloom" plants until her fairy power is about depleted and the plant is ruined/dead. Typical EA overkill.


 And Angrod becomes a nose-picking toddler. No ear surgery required.


"I may pick my nose but at least I use my finger and not the mallet."

Yes, it turns out, as will eventually be revealed, Tirion's got a screw or two loose.


I imagine that Lorien rolled this wish because she's disciplined. If she had a less demanding LTW, I might have made her learn martial arts so she could do it (or it's a fairy power she doesn't have yet, I haven't figured that out), but seeing as her LTW requires a lot of my attention already, and I want to lock in the "have a child" wish that's waiting there, I deleted it.


"Hey Babe! Wanna autonomously risky woohoo in the tent? There's two household slots left, so what are the odds?"

One in ten, which is why I didn't think anything of it and let them woohoo.


 "Heh-heh, don't tell the Simgod, but I just threw up in the store bathroom!"

Dammit!!! I had wanted Angrod to be a little older before bringing in the spare, but apparently the 9 out of 10 odds were not good enough. It's worth noting that EVERY TIME Bree woohooed, with Nick, Courtney, whoever, it was risky. I figured it might be the only way she gets another baby but I didn't want to force it without a wish from her. She, obviously, didn't get pregnant once. So of course the one sim who's got all the time in the world with that fairy lifespan, is an early achiever.

Meanwhile, having the jobless, no-way-you're-getting-that-LTW-sorry-man, Pascal get the babies out of bed every morning is working out swimmingly.


"EWWWW!"

Tirion: "It's not me! My diaper's clean!"

Angrod: "Is someone gonna get me? Hello?"


*sigh*


At least it's only Melian upstairs this morning.


"What is wrong with him?"

He's delicate. Hang in there, he'll get you in a minute.

Coming up next chapter, we get one last EP added to keep things fresh, and really wet.

Opportunities









I accepted this one but ended up not doing it.




Points

Each Heir: +1 (Lorien)

Each Child: +1 (Angrod)

Every 100,000 LHPs the heir has when heirship passes on: +5

Skipped/failed opportunities: -5

Completed Opportunities: +3

Deleted Locked-In Wishes: -15

Previous Score: +286

Current Score: +276

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